There seems to be a seemingly innocuous disequilibrium in the sex life of senior partners; An imbalance that is capable of creating a bridge in affection. While midlife couples often continue to pretend to the outside world that all is well, whereas in the inner ‘other room’, at best of time, is coldly lackluster. For better stratification, midlife couples are couples between the ages of 45 and 65 years excluding polyandrists and polygamists to avoid double standard.
At the onset of marriage, couples’ sexual escapade is like an endless honeymoon. The romance, the kisses, the touching and even the words are specially soothing and depicting of endless love. Never in their wildest imagination would it occur to them that there will come a time when they could be together in the same room, on the same bed for weeks without touching each other. This is the case of sexual relationship of many midlife partners. After two or in most cases three decades of marriage, the honeymoon appears to have disappeared due to factors ranging from shift in attention from partner to children, work, biological, psychological and even ageing.
A cousin friend of mine jokingly put the reason for midlife sexual inactivity in the context of employment. According to him just like an employee goes into mandatory retirement after 35 years of service, sex organs also nosedive in performance after thirty something years of ‘active service’.
Ageing and kids are big factors in the matter of midlife sexual inactivity. To buttress this fact, another friend of mine said that it’s not difficult to identify midlife partners even if they don’t look the part. Adding that once the partners call themselves by the names of their kid (mummy something or daddy something) they are surely midlife. To establish fact of sexual inactivity against the couple, ask them separately for their last mating date, they will give two different dates.
Work pressure is also taking toll on the sex life of midlife partners especially for the mid midlife, who put him extra hours of work to make ends meet. By the time they returned home from work they are too fagged out to think of sex and the following morning, they are too much in a hurry to squeeze out time for early morning sex.
And even when they created time for sex, they need a whole lot of time for foreplay before arousal. If they eventually get over arousal stage, they still need to contend with biological and psychological problems of erectile dysfunction/ premature ejaculation on the part of the man and dyspareunia (painful intercourse)/ anorgasmia (orgasmic difficult) on the part of the woman. These and some other problems make sex undesirable for menopausal woman and her midlife partner.
But despite the problems, sex health experts say barring health challenges, midlife partners can still enjoy sex to the fullest.
Midlife Sexual function Changes
There are more negative changes in sexual functions among midlife partners particularly the woman who may be experiencing menopausal symptoms arising from hormonal changes. Some of the negatives include:
- Decreased frequency of sex
- Low Libido
- Vaginal Dryness
- Thinning Vaginal
- Orgasm Difficulties
- Painful Intercourse
These problems are midlife woman problem and they are interwoven. Sex health experts assert that after menopause, there is reduced levels of the estrogen and progesterone hormones which results in less natural lubrication that may result in bleeding, tightening of the vaginal opening, and/or narrowing and shortening of the vagina. All of these can make intercourse uncomfortable or even intolerable.
While the midlife female partners contend with the biological issues above, they also share with their male partners on physical and other psychological issues including:
- Fatigue from work
- Bodily Pain as a result of reduced physical flexibility
- Financial Stress
- Family Issues
- Partners’ health issues
- Partner’s sexual dysfunction
- Partner’s Physical and Physiological changes
These are some of the issues that contributed to sexual inactivity in midlife couples. Sexologists say the problems are surmountable.
Midlife partners can reignite their sexual function provided they make the necessary adjustments. They must realize that sex was hormonal at the onset of their marriage and years after natural ageing it becomes emotional. Other adjustments include.
- Stop seeing sexual function in terms of penetrative sex alone
- See oral sex as beneficial as penetrative.
- Stay together and communicate feelings
- Help each other to be healthy
- Go for variety in penetrative technique
- Think about sex; The brain is an important sexual organ, and thinking about sex increases sexual desire. It’s therefore important for you and your partner to think about sex.
- Discover the G-Spot- nipple; mouth and lips; ears; Neck nape; inner thigh; lower back
- Talk about the sex after the sex for improvement in the next romp.
- Read sex “self-help” books together
- Watch sex video together
- Help yourselves with sex enhancer lubes
Are you in the midlife with a midlife/menopausal partner? Is sexual dysfunction threatening your marriage? Try some of these antidotes, it might revitalize sexual functions in your relationship
Citizen Comfort Sex Health. Watch out for another exciting episode.
Source: Dare Agbeluyi, Chief Publisher.
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It’s really helpful. Thanks to the Chief Publisher
Even though am still a young husband, but this certainly gave me a prepared mind and also enlightened me on how to manage this stage of life.
Thanks
I think it’s more of economic issue in our society today. Many are bugged down by the various challenges posed by the economic downturn compounded further by covid 19 pandemic. There is too much anxiety everywhere that many people feel their spouses should forget about intimacy.
We all need to look at the bright side of life and hope for better days.
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